From Rum to Whiskey
by ghostworld
Summary: What happens when the last and only constant in your life is gone forever? Oneshot.


Discalimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Song used is "Rum to Whiskey" by Murder City Devils. This occurred to me a couple of days ago. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors.

They met when they were twelve.

She looked beautiful sporting her soccer uniform wearing those knee high socks. Her long golden locks held back by ponytails with the exception of a small chunk of hair that caressed her sweet face.

That was the first day he met her.

The day he fell in love with her.

All his hopes and dreams about pursuing her soon ended when his closest friend confessed his true feelings for her. Deep down, he knew that it didn't even matter. Even if Duncan didn't ask her out nor had such feelings for her, she would never love him back.

He was a lost case. He was corrupt. Not good enough for her. He had suffered too much, had witnessed so much for his young age, he just wouldn't be good enough for _her_…

She deserved someone like Duncan without issues. The boy next door.

He settled for Lily.

She was never his first true love. His heart already had an owner and it wasn't Lily Kane… She was exciting and wild. Veronica's complete opposite. But she would have to do. He knew they were so much alike.

Both corrupt. Both had seen a glimpse of reality, they lived it, they suffered it.

Lily didn't love him either. She loved boys. He secretly hoped and prayed she cared. But he knew better. She didn't.

He often wished he was more like Duncan or that Lily was more like Veronica. That they could have a relationship like theirs, _of marshmallows and promises_…

But he knew his reality. It was dark. Filled with violence. Beatings whether or not he deserved them… There was no escape.

All he had to look forward to in life was the _"Fab Four."_ But like everything in his life… it ended.

Things seemed to go from bad to worse.

Lily was brutally killed. Duncan became a zombie. And Veronica…

Veronica killed any hopes he had. She chose her dad over him… the one he thought would always be there betrayed him when he needed her the most.

That's when he turned from rum to whiskey.

He made it his mission to make her life a living hell. He spread rumors. He knew deep down they weren't true.

He tormented her.

Months had passed.

Veronica wasn't who she used to be. She was better, more beautiful than before; she stood her ground, and fought back.

He wanted to hate her. To erase her from his life. She was in too deep. From his heart.

He couldn't.

He was hurting. Hurting really bad. And he needed her.

The only thing he looked forward to everyday was the bantering that would take place in the halls of Neptune high. When he would see her. He would talk to her then even if things got out of hand sometimes.

The one person who was there most times even if it was in an alcoholic state was his mom. He loved her. He did. One day she disappeared. It was said that she committed suicide. Throwing herself from the Coronado Bridge.

He had hope. It couldn't be true. His mother couldn't leave him behind with _him_. She knew far too well all about the big bad wolf. The broken noses. She just couldn't.

Besides, she left her lighter behind. A gift from her father. Something she never left the house without.

Deep down he knew it was the best for her. He still wished she would have taken him with her.

Duncan didn't believe him when he told him she wasn't dead. He said he was in denial.

Logan wouldn't accept that. He went to the only person he knew would help. No matter what.

He ended up in front of her apartment.

She believed him.

She was there when they discovered it was only Trina, usurping his mother. She held him tight. He broke down in her arms. At the Sunset Reagent.

He felt comfort. He missed her. '_Oh, God he missed her so much_.'

They weren't friends. But they weren't enemies either.

Maybe, just maybe he had a chance. Once chance to make it right.

It happened again. She betrayed him one more… accused him of Lily's murder.

Once again: ♪ _He switched from rum to whiskey._ ♪

Because _♪ She was the best thing, best thing that he ever had/ She was the best thing. _♪

He loved her. Loved her like he never thought he would love someone. She was his everything.

He had lost everything.

He lost Lily. Lost his so-call best friend. He lost _her_.

He then lost his mother.

He won _her_.

Only to loose her again.

After, finding out his own monster of a father killed his first serious girlfriend, sleeping with her while she dated him, had the audacity of filming them together, only to bash her head with an ashtray.

That his one true love not only accused him of killing Lily but was now breaking up with him.

♪ _She was the best thing, best thing that he ever had/ She was the best thing./ He switched from rum to whiskey./ She was the only decent thing in a good for nothing town. ♪_

How could he survive without her.

Months passed…

He then found out she was with him.

♪ _She was the best thing, best thing that he ever had/ She was the best thing./ He switched from rum to whiskey. She was the only decent thing in a good for nothing town./ She was the prettiest girl in an ugly town./ He must feel sorry/ I know he hates it ♪_

Why him? He was tortured… He wasn't the guys next door. Not anymore.

It hurt, to see them together. Knowing that it was him kissing her. Touching her soft skin. Tasting the strawberry flavor from her lips. Whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

When it should be him. Only him.

He's the only one that has loved all of Veronica Mars. He loved her when she was still innocent. He fell in love with her more when she became his bobcat. His sugarpuss. His.

♪ _She was the best thing, best thing that he ever had/ Do you remember the beer on her breath?/ Do you remember your hands on the hem of her dress?/ Do you remember crying when the skirt she wore tucked under your hand?/ He switched from rum to whiskey_ _♪_

He missed her.

Duncan won her only to leave her behind.

Veronica had changed. He had realized long ago that they are very similar to one another. Both _tortured. Spanning years and bloodshed…_

That they were meant for each other. That they were "_Epic_."

If only she could realize it too.

He hoped she did.

Life was about to change. She would be leaving soon. He wouldn't see her anymore. That couldn't happen… not again!

Grad night came….

Everything changed once more.

He was too late.

♪ _He switched from rum to whiskey[bang bang bang bang, he put her down[bang bang bang bang, he put her down down/ She was the best thing, best thing that he ever had ♪ _

He heard the shots… He ran towards her figure laying on the floor. He was too late. He saw a glimpse of him jumping off the roof. He didn't care.

He had her in his arms. Holding as tight as he could.

Barely able to talk, she told him everything, "Woody abused him. He killed everyone in the bus… he raped me… he killed my father." She was crying in his arms.

He was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He wanted so desperately to make it better. He wished it was him laying there and not her.

Logan was falling to pieces too.

He couldn't lose her not her too. She was his everything. With her his life was empty. He needed her with him.

"Don't leave!" His cries were those of desperation. "Not you! Anything but you… I love you!" He gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

With a sly smile she answered, "Don't forget me, Logan…"

He felt his heart sink.

"We're epic…" He was loosing her. "I love you." With that she was gone.

She loved him.

He lost her, again.

This time it was for good.

He held her there until the paramedics and cops came.

After leaving the sheriff's department, he didn't know where to go.

He'd lost everything.

He'd lost her.

There was only one place he could go.

He drove down to Dog beach.

♪_He switched from rum to whiskey_♪

He took a big swig from the bottle. It was a cold night. He sat there for hours remembering; the 'Fab Four,' his mother, her… it was all too much.

He took another swig.

♪_She was the best thing in this god forsaken town/ I'm sure that he longs to be free of sin_♪

He wanted to be with her.

There was only one way to fix that.

He took another swig and dropped the bottle on the sand.

He slowly began walking towards the ocean. '_I love you, Veronica Mars. Nothing will ever separate us again, I promise. We're Epic.'_

A big wave devoured him whole.

The only thing left behind was a small lighter next to the bottle of whiskey.

'_Free at last_.'

The End.

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